An argument is currently in progress in our dear home; my girl and I are debating whether I should build a decorative windmill for the backyard or “squirrel table”. The Mrs. is absurdly fascinated with and fond of squirrels and wants a podium that they can crawl on and eat from. I get why squirrels are cute but I’m a man and if I am to build something in my backyard of that nature, it’s not going to be a dollhouse for squirrels; I want technique and true architecture, which is why I find the windmill to be an assignment worth my efforts. I realize that I will be looking at my beautiful windmill with degrees of guilt and bad conscience if I go through with my plans, so I came up with a compromise; the squirrel basher! Basically it’s a squirrel house with a windmill on it, periodically covering the only entrance / exit. To maximize the fun I’ll equip the tip of each wing with small boxing gloves. That way no blood is shed and the squirrels are rendered curious, lying on their backs in the neighbor’s backyard with a wounded pride. There is no such thing as free eats, and my treats have certain risks associated with them. You must be one nosy squirrel fellow if you’re looking for goodies in my yard on a stormy day!

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